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Adult children bring their mothers enormous pride and joy when they become engaged to be married. The planning for the mother of the bride and groom outfits commences once the rush of the engagement news subsides. Mother of the bride and groom outfits should be comfortable, well fitted and age appropriate, and can be coordinated with the color, theme and style of the bridal party. Mothers coordinating their dresses has been routine for several years. Attending other weddings, reading bridal magazines and visiting wedding attire shops can start the process. Having an idea in mind as to style preference when beginning the search may also be a good idea.

My son was recently asked to attend as best man in in one of his friend's weddings. The mother of the groom was perturbed through most of the planning stages for the wedding day because not all her ideas were chosen. The bride's mother attempted to interest the groom's mother in the process of shopping for their outfits, however the groom's mother had no interest.. The bride's mother selected her outfit choosing as her mother of the bride outfit an elegant, stylish and flattering gown. She looked amazing and was a compliment to the entire wedding. The groom's mother chose as her mother of the groom outfit the same dress as the bridesmaids, but in a slightly different shade. Unfortunately, the outfit was not age appropriate or flattering to the groom's mother and she spent one of the most beautiful days she would ever have feeling contrite and ridiculous.

A few thoughts. When choosing a mother of the bride or groom suit, make sure to ask the bride if she has any particular style in mind and if possible, take her along for fittings and to help choose what she may want you to wear. She can have input if she and you want it, but do not hesitate to speak up if the dress she prefers is unflattering or price is an issue.

Department stores have designated mother of the bride and groom outfits. Keep in mind you don't have to buy your outfit from a specialty dress shop. Department stores sell formal dresses for certain times of the year and specific occasions. Guaranteed, those outfits will be lower priced than an outfit in a specialty shop.

If, however, the bride has chosen something unique in a particular store, you may want to honor her wishes by accepting or at least considering her choice. If price is an issue, remind her that you are on a budget and look for something similar. If she is still adamant, then compromise becomes the order of the day. This is the bride and groom's special time and it requires cooperation and support from the mothers of the bride and groom. Once you experience the joy and laughter on this day, every annoyance will be forgotten and you'll be the happiest mothers of the bride and groom ever.

The wedding my son was in made me realize that the day belongs to the bride and groom, not me. I will assist them. I will offer advice if asked, hold my counsel if it's not. I will even let them decide on the mother of the bride and groom outfits so as to not embarrass them as their friend was embarrassed. Keeping in mind that this is the bride and groom's day and not anyone elses may be the most important lesson to come out of my children wedding day.

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